The Starting Lines Don’t Matter

Some folks I speak with have a hard time with what is going on in the world these days. So much is bizarre and different. Where do they even start to explain what is wrong with what they see on the cultural scene? They recoil from the strangeness of cross-dressing and same-loving. They are rendered unable to engage with our generation.

Let me offer some simple help. People have a hard time suppressing all of God’s truth all the time. His Image is powerfully resilient in those He has made.  So there is always some of His common grace operating wherever you see relationships. When you come to recognize the Biblical principles of gender, you can see the good happening even when dressed in some gaudily bad outfits.


Here is an excerpt from enGendered that bears repeating. This is a true story…


(A note on the terminology. This incident is from many years ago, when ‘boi’ meant what I explain it meant and how Daryl would use it. Since then, the word has come to be used for so many other things, that it has become almost meaningless itself. This is the trend of all gender-minimizing terms in general. What are useful terms today will be morph’ed and meme’ed into unrecognition by tomorrow…)


Barney, a friend of ours, would identify himself as gay. But one fateful day, Barney met Daryl, a “boi,” which means that Daryl was a woman but preferred to dress as a man. Barney and Daryl fell in love.

As their relationship progressed, Daryl found a growing desire to somehow express femininity for Barney, which Barney welcomed. But Daryl knew nothing about how to do such things, having assumed manly manners for such a long time. Barney, in turn, had an eye for women’s fashion, and had even dressed up as a woman at times for fun.

Consequently, Barney was more gifted in the cultural expressions of femininity than Daryl was. They took a momentous step on that evening when they stood together before the bathroom mirror and Barney taught Daryl how to apply makeup. He limited himself to let her explore specialization for him. (He drew the line at encouraging high heels since, he told her speaking from experience, they would just murder her feet.)


Not all of us begin from such extreme starting lines, but the principle is the same. For the sake of moving a relationship to a new level, these kinds of decisions that involve limiting ourselves may be made. As a woman and a man focus on their individual specialties for the sake of the dance, the beauty of the dance overshadows both.



As I say, “not all of us begin from such extreme starting lines,” but the starting lines don’t matter. We all have our gender failures. None of us are really normal. The principles of God-given gender operated between Barney and Daryl (not their real names) nonetheless, overshadowing both. These principles often do, even in folks who are trying their hardest to deny the gift.

David Bowie tocando en el festival "Rock in Chile", celebrado en Octubre de 1990 en Santiago de Chile.


By celebrating the principles of the gift, we can learn to rejoice with others and over others, even when their actions and expressions are exceedingly bizarre to us. Watch out you rock and rollers.





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