You’ve often heard (or perhaps said) “That’s just the way women are,” and “Men are just like that.” Perhaps you’ve wondered if said habit or characteristic was really gender specific or not. Here is a question. Does the Bible ever engage in that kind of talk? What do you think?
One of my life companions is the Old Tesatment book of Proverbs. Like many, I love this book. I have long tried to search out its mysteries and implement the practical skills in living it teaches. Well, there are two kinds of proverbs in the book of Proverbs. The one advocates right thought or action, as in:
22 Do not rob the poor, because he is poor, or crush the afflicted at the gate, 23 for the LORD will plead their cause and rob of life those who rob them. –Proverbs 22:22-23
Pretty strong moral prescription, right? But the other kind of saying seems not to make a moral judgment. They do not advocate for anything. Rather, they just state the way things generally are in life:
One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. –Proverbs 13:7
This is more a handy observation of the way of the world. You will fare better in life if you recognize it, right?
This binary categorization is good to realize when turning to Proverbs 11:16, a verse even scholars find difficult to understand:
A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches. –Proverbs 11:16
What is this saying saying? Some interpreters think, for sure, that this is the first kind of proverb. A good woman (and, in the context of the whole book, the attractive wife that a royal young man is looking for), goes for the highly valuable honor. Whereas bad men just settle for (just) riches. This reading is not without its difficulties. Riches, half the time, are not bad in the book of Proverbs (3:9-10, 8:17-21, though an honorable name is better than wealth—22:1, 28:6). And why the juxtaposition of a woman and men? The Septuagint translation tries to address this by changing it to “hardworking men get riches.”
Another interpretive road closely parses out the meaning of each word. The adjective translated “gracious” has a range of meaning and can often mean “favored” or “beautiful” when associated with a woman (5:19, 31:30, Nahum 3:4). The verb for both phrases, תמך , is forceful. Rather than “gets” or “attains,” it really means, “to seize, take hold of, grasp.”
Finally, the word for “violent,” עָרִיץ , also translated “ruthless” or “oppressing,” is used negatively in most of its 20 appearances in the Bible, for evil people or oppressors. But the major prophets use the word more broadly, to signify awe-inspiring power. Jeremiah, for example, applies the word to God, to emphasize His awe-inspiring force that causes dread:
But the LORD is with me as a dread warrior ( עָרִיץ); therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed..–Jeremiah 20:11
Ezekiel also uses the word in this way for nations forceful and therefore fearful, which God will use to execute judgment (Ezekiel 28:7, 30:11, 31:12, 32:12, consider also Isaiah 25:3, 49:25).
If one follows this interpretive road, one arrives at a more of a “way of the world” type proverb:
A beautiful woman tends to use her gift to grasp acclaim, whereas men with fearful energy tend to use their gift to grasp money.
11:16 would then relate to the aphorism a few verses later:
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. –Proverbs 11:22
This permissible reading of 11:16 does make sense of things we see in life. For the first phrase, think of the elven queen Galadriel, in Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring, who struggles with the temptation to use Frodo’s ring of power to become more acclaimed in her beauty than one can imagine. In one of the great lines of literature, she foresees that “All shall love me and despair.” I hear in this that men will look on her beauty and despair that they cannot have her. Women will look and despair that they cannot be her.
The second phrase finds ample evidence in life also. Just look at the world of finance and corporation.
In the Biblical view, where evil is a corruption of good, we can see good qualities move in a good or bad direction. Beauty in a woman is a gift, and given no doubt for purposes of powerful influence. Influence for God’s purposes is a good thing. I am no fan of beauty pageants, and welcome their recent demise, but one good thing about them was how the winner often used her fame to promote a good cause.
Of course, the good “honor” can easily turn to a vanity and a desire for all “to look and despair.”
For men, providing security for a family does take force, a kind of violence against evil that would con and steal, which is a good thing. Sometimes a man does need to be fearful to carry out his responsibilities. However, it can be easily perverted to a violence for self-justification or violence’s sake.
If we go with the first reading, the proverb is an encouragement to gracious women and a discouragement to violent men. But, if we go with the second reading, perhaps here, the Bible is engaging in a “this is the way men and women are” kind of talk, with indications of important depth.
We will fare much better in life if we recognize it.