This week the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that a Tennessee law banning gender imitative measures for children was not unconstitutional. I apologize for the double negative in that confusing sentence, but that is the intricacy of the decision’s argument. Indeed, the ruling is fairly long to read, going over a hundred pages. It thereby raises several important points worth considering, as this thoughtful court tends to do. But, the most significant statement to me is that the gender dysphoric are not a “protected class” (p18). That is, one’s feeling or desire about one’s gender is not an immutable characteristic. So it is not a matter of discrimination.
With this statement, the United States makes a huge clarification. In my opinion, it is the key to a better way for the increasing number of minors experiencing gender crisis. This ruling underscores how gender is moral and so opens the way, at least in Tennessee, to treating children by teaching them gender.
“Gender is moral?” you query, “and needs to be taught?” Yes. This undiscussed feature of addressing transgenderism is essential. The Christian Scriptures teach that we are composed of body and soul (Genesis 2:7; Matthew 10:28; 2Corinthians 5:1, James 2:26). Defying that, like defying anything the Bible says that God says about us, is certainly possible and so becomes a moral issue.
Consider this scene which confronts parents, more often than they would like to admit. You enter the bathroom to find your seven-year-old son dressed up w/his older sister’s underwear. What do you do? As I have advised fathers in that circumstance, you pay close attention to your reaction, knowing that that moment is crucial for your child’s development. You do not yell. You do not show your shock. You also do not turn around and walk out, closing the door to any conversation, vowing that this shall never be spoken of in your house, for the rest of your natural lives.
Instead, you invite him to sit down and talk. You ask about the reasons for what he is doing. Nine times out of ten, you hear something that indicates exploration. He is seeking to understand this strange other thing called ‘girl.’ In his inner thoughts, he wonders what his relation to this other is. Maybe through this experience of dressing in her clothes, he could penetrate the mystery. This mystery, indistinguishable from desire at this point, motivates him.
So, instead, you set him on you knee and you talk about the wonder of ‘woman.’ You explain how his mother and his sister, created by the Triune God, are exalted examples that, together with us, teach us of God. You rejoice before him about how they help us, how likely another close woman will help him. You explain the profound difference between him and these other gifts, how you see him in a manly light. You envision his gifts operating in the future as a man. You also teach him God’s commands against trying to cross the mysterious divide (Genesis 1:27, Deuteronmy 22:5, 1Corinthians 11:2-16). And so he must not do this as a man.
Again, nine times out of ten, that will be the end of that. You will not experience further difficulty along these lines, especially as you continue to lay out before him, as he grows, a vision of manhood.
But, for all this to happen, we need to understand that gender is a moral matter and so needs to be taught. And this week’s Supreme Court ruling moves the culture closer to that point.
Love this post. The father teaching his son on his knee vignette (with scriptural text resources) is priceless.
Sam, I heartily agree with you. One’s feelings or desire about one’s gender can be damaged and thus misleading, and our desires can be deceitful. After living in sexual disorder for years, I was helped by understanding more deeply the goodness of essential masculinity and femininity per God’s design, and how I as a man am created to be a good gift to others. I was greatly helped by the robust, biblical anthropology and theology of gender presented in Desert Stream Ministries’ Living Waters. I resonate with your perspective for the father to relate kindly and clearly with his seven-year-old son, remembering the gentle, impactful approach others took with me over the years. It is so necessary to be both compassionate and truthful with precious children, men and women in this confused, deceived culture.