Three Things You Need When Your Adult Child Says, “I am gay.”

To Christian parents, those three words are a shock, beginning a cascade of difficult feelings. Despite the cultural shift, most Christians still disagree that adopting a gay identity is a good move so hearing those three words still brings anguish. After years of AffirmingGender ministry, I find this to be an increasingly common experience among those I address who are …

Gender Dysphoria is a Nice-Sounding Term

When spoken, it wafts gently through the air. It rhymes soothingly with euphoria. It almost sounds peaceful. To those who experience it, it is anything but peaceful. Yet dysphoria has the advantage of being so clinical a term that ordinary people like us, who are not doctors and never use it in conversation, have no idea what it means. That …

I Was Not Expecting Sam’s Proposal

I, Mary K. Carter, was not expecting a proposal.  Sure, I liked him, but there were so many red flags.  We met at a Sixties costume dance.  Sam, who was a street musician, did not need to wear a costume, because he already looked the part.  I was an artist, recently converted to Christianity.  I craved stability, which Sam did …

“Let us…”’ Unveil God

In his passionate 2013 book, Fully Alive, page 35, Larry Crabb makes a highly significant point. He notes how, when God created us in Genesis 1:26, The Creator said, “Let us make man in our image.” As Dr. Crabb points out, “it is only when God made male and female human beings that he introduced Himself as persons-in-community.” In other …

AffirmingGender Fall 2017 Calendar

Those looking for live happenings we welcomed to come Affirm Gender with me at one of these fall events. These were some opportunities to learn a way to answer the most pressing gender questions and receive practical guidance on resolving gender troubles.   September 29-October 01: enGendered: God, Gender and Sexuality in the 21st century Peace Presbyterian Church, Cary/Raleigh NC …

How to Tell a Guy, “Go Jump in a Lake!”

One reader asks, in response to the Jump-In-The-Lake post,  “How can I say “no” to a man asking me out in a way that does not crush, but rather encourages, his masculinity?”   I could think of no better person to answer this than one of the world’s leading experts in encouraging masculinity: Mary K. Andreades. So I asked her …

Go Jump In A Lake!

Her name was Linda Hubka. We were in 8th grade, or was it 7th? I had decided that she was the one, and I made up my mind to ask her out. I took a deep breath and let her know that I liked her. But Linda Hubka was a discerning girl, especially for that age, and was reluctant. She …

Qualified to Speak: An admiration of Glenn T. Stanton

A question often asked of me while Affirming Gender is how to deal with friends or loved ones making gender decisions we feel are bad for them. A book I often recommend, especially if short on time to answer, is Glenn T. Stanton’s Loving My (LGBT) Neighbor: Being Friends in Grace and Truth (2014). Mr. Stanton gets gender in a …

Her Needed Voice

I was feeling quite happy. This king was only eighteen years old, but the last ten years had shown the royal colors. Finally, I was thinking as we walked along, a king who actually trusts the priesthood.