Incalculable Benefits I Get From My Wife

My wife, Marika, is the most extraordinary person I think I have ever met. Today as I awoke, I wondered how it was that, of all the people in the world, I got to be married to her.   There are obvious benefits to marriage, of course, sharing life and pleasures with one another. But I have found some in …

Desires are Moral

A reader writes: My understanding has been that same sex attraction that is not acted upon is not sin.  Is a Christian who struggles with same sex attraction, yet in living for the Lord, doesn’t act on these desires, sinning?  Is being tempted, yet resisting temptation,  still evil? I thought it would be correct to tell a friend wrestling with …

Exactly Backwards: Soul Mates, Part II

I was talking last time about how couples today often make the decision to marry based on a feeling of being soul mates. I thought similarly too, in my time, when I decided to marry my wife: that this is what will make our marriage last. But we are getting things exactly backwards. The story goes that a pastor once …

Soul Mates or Maturing Souls?

I officiated a wonderful wedding last week. There was talk, as there always is, of whether these two would be right for each other. I told the guests why I was there and why I was confident to pronounce them “husband and wife.”   Many people today feel like two people should get married if they are soul mates. I …

We Need Gender Motivation–Emotional intimacy: Reply to Claire Smith, PART IV

I make a lot about emotional intimacy in marriage in the book, enGendered, calling it the key to a successful marriage. That is because passages like Ephesians 5:22-33, the quintessential marriage passage in the New Testament,  describe marriage in those terms (his wife is as close as the husband’s own body, he washes her by word, he who loves his wife …

To the Truest Woman I Know

Eyes that see all that I can be Hair that flows down to my need Ears that find the faintest cry of mine Hands that bind me when I bleed   Your love reminds me of one that I dream of Free flowing grace from above I can see through your eyes perfect care undisguised A glimpse of His heart …

The Single Biggest Way to Improve Your Relationships

To improve our relationships, we must first ask a question with a deep answer. Can you come along with me for a little theology? The question is, Why do we have relationships? The answer for the Christian is that God is trinity. God has relationship within God’s triune Self. The Three are co-equal (and co-eternal), but very different in being …